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Being a social media manager means a seriously busy day of work. One mismanages 10+ different brands. Good Shutterstock images make you jizz more than PornHub ever did. Your friends think you waste your time on Instagram and Twitter all day. But their dumb a**es are wrong! You also waste time on TikTok.

Planning: Strategising and planning are two key areas you focus on. I have a social media calendar titled Mast_Kalendar.xls where I've marked sh** like World Pi Day, World Egg Day so I can accordingly generate nonsense content that has absolutely no relation to the brand whatsoever.

Content creation: Step one – write down ideas. I grab a cup of coffee and jot down as many ideas as I can. Then fall in love with one of my ideas. Then the client picks the shittiest option, obviously. The client then takes the idea and does what Gabbar did to Thakur. Which is followed by disagreement. Followed by suppression. And then I go back to step one.

Adapting Content: Content needs to be adapted for different platforms. Square for Facebook, portrait for Instagram, landscape for Twitter and nothing for Snapchat.

Posting: Once you freeze on the content, proofread the caption four times before posting it. But the best way to find a typo is to post it and wait for 2.5 seconds.

Analyzing Campaigns: I track campaign performance to ensure successful outcomes. I use a mix of different analytical tools to measure engagement such as likes, clicks and shares but honestly kisi ko kuch nahi pata what just might work and why.

Meetings: Meetings are generally focussed on new strategies, but it's actually just clients showing you 'viral' content examples. Like that one Durex ad that everyone reposts on Father's Day every year. I keep Saridon tablets handy, and I take one after every client call. If I had a dollar for every time someone said "Let's make it a 'viral' TikTok challenge," I would have enough money to be an investor in TikTok.

Lastly, remember this:

It's 10 per cent luck

20 per cent skill (Photoshop)

15 per cent concentrated power of will

5 per cent pleasure, 50 per cent pain (clients)

and a 100 per cent reason to remember the deadline

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